#this is so scary and awful #the notion that he felt unclean and unworthy seems pretty genuine #and this never fails to sicken me on some level #because look #this is not just about the demon blood #it can’t be #he’s not just a freak #he calls himself a ‘whole new level of freak’ #he thinks there’s something so fundamentally wrong with him that being broken for years in the pits of hell #is just him paying his dues #that dying slowly from the inside out #that being a broken soul in a rotting body #is him being ‘purified’ #no sam #it’s not #you don’t need to be purified #i reiterate: this is so goddamn sad and awful #(also a bit of a parallel to dean declaring that purgatory was purifying yeah?) #both dean’s experience in purgatory #and sam’s experience with these trials #seem to be bringing their deepest issues into play (via)
{Source}
maydei
